Monday, June 30
hey beb. remember in summer school last year. when we drew winnie the pooh and tigger on the back of my history book. and it said "whatever happens, i'll understand."? and we thought it was cheesy but cute? well it's still cheesy, still cute, and still true. so whatever it is you're going through.. i'll be here for you even when you don't want/need me to be. cuz that's what friends are for. so i hope that you feel better and that you don't ever feel like you're alone :) love ya take care- smile

monkey.9:34 AM

Sunday, June 29
hello. i am so bored. summers boring man. haha but it doesnt really feel like summer cuz.. yea i dunno. feels like a vacation. sigh. okay whata pointless fucking blog.

Regina.1:06 PM

Friday, June 27
current song: our lady peace.somewhere out there

you know.. i cant tell if im madly in love with you, or if i just completely and utterly hate you.

i really cant tell anymore.

all i know is that whenever im happy, i want to talk to you. and then when i do, i feel like the biggest peice of shit in the whole wide world. thanks. yea, thanks for nothing.

i dunno. all i know is yur not who i think you are. and that still hasnt sunk in. after all these fucking years.

DONT FUCKING ASK WHO im talking about. i will a) not fucking tell you, no matter who you are and b) most likely bitch the fuck outa you. SO PISS OFF.

Regina.1:26 AM

Wednesday, June 25
//saturday twelveseventwozerozerotwo
song of the day: peaches and cream.112

aHhh.. good song good song :D i heard it on the radio today. me and chiens song! yeOpps.. i hellah wanna go out >< go clubbing.. or something.. i havent had fun at a dance thing for quite a while.. hMm.. since LAST YEARS FAREWELL DANCE! HAHAHAHA.. yea that was a while ago. today i went shopping with my mommie and i saw all these dresses and shoes and i wanan go to wb tOo now >< =[ sniffsniff. o wells.. theres always next year i guess. haha yar. YAR. i dislike that word. andrea has got me saying it nows. like yola. haha hMm.. today at volunteer omygosh we had the WORST time. it was me christine and a senior volunteer that i used to work with on mondays but omygosh we got bitched at like TWICE! damn.. she was being sucha bitch. and shes like "see you next week!" i was like -_-" growl. wateversssss.. hMm.. what else. o yeas! i went to work and helped my mommie make QUICHE!! yumyum :D and then i also cooked lunch for the employees. w00t. haha i sorta wanna be a cook.. but i dont think im any good at it. i used to cook breakfast every sunday for my family.. they sed i was better than my mom.. but then i stopped.. and sorta juss quit cooking all together -_- haha maybe ill start up again one day.

tomorrow i have csf at 630 in the frickin morning ahhhh. its gonna be crazy >< must get coffee. haha and then it ends at 1130.. does anyone wanna go out to lunch? but then you have to pick me up -_- haha and then i have to be at mv at 1 for freaking dance rehearsal yepsyeps. tomorrow will be a long day. yesterday i went to sleep at like 11.. after only getter 1.5 hours a sleep the previous night.. it was very.. different. hahaha i havent done that for a long time. i think tonite imma try 10.. hahaha.

i have this whole thing about guys and how theyre so FAKE.. hahaha.. but i dont really feel like talking about it right now.. maybe later tonite. hMm.. check out chiens, stepho and connies sites.. they changed it.. theyre pretty :D

aiitess.. im out.. xmas is coming so soon!! and break!! w00t. 13 more days :D o yes.. happy 23 months babe =] we go through so much shit "/ heh :] but 689 days later, i still love you. its his birthday monday guys!! haha.. im older than some ppl :D byebyeess

Regina.12:31 PM

Thursday, June 19
:'[

stephanie.6:38 PM

its kinda sad when everything just seems to be going wrong in your life.
and worse when everything goes right for your friends.
and its the worst when none of your friends give a damn.
and you end up writing all your feelings out in a fucking online diary.

that, my friend, is the saddest thing i have ever heard.




_{and done.}

Regina.1:15 PM

HI BABY! i think i love you :]

stephanie.9:57 AM

hmmMm.. i feel that i should blog.. but i have nothing to blog about and no one to blog to.. since no one reads this shit anymore. no one reads anything i write anymore. haha you should see my xanga! its so DEAD. pretty homo i guess. me, i mean.

its just one of those times.. when you need yur friends to pull you out ya know? but then.. there are those ppl who are always there for you.. and they cant seem to do anything for you. its hard to explain, its like they try and yur greatful. but it just doesnt work. youre looking for something else. and then miracuously.. a wave or a smile from a total stranger can totally change your mood.. or something like that. its pretty awesome. but there are no strangers around right now for me to smile about. its freaking 1204AM.

i think.. im looking for trouble. looking to get hurt. SHRUG. haha but if its one thing ive noticed about girls.. its 1) they are indecisive and 2)they look for trouble. yea but guys are pretty damn indecisive too.

hmm.. forget it. i dont wanna blog anymore. nite

Regina.12:18 AM

Sunday, June 15
hMmmmm.. its daddies day!

i like my new layout :D

i like bloggers new layout too :D

i got a freaking B in bio =( GAY BIO! and im going to go check my math grade right now >< PRAY THAT I DONT GET THROWN OUT OF MY HOUSE *sob*

IM MAKING MY WALL RIGHT NOW! its pretty.. hehe. i got all jp pics.. wb pics.. sadies pics.. i got the pic of dumbo from steph and chris.. I GOT A GIO AD. OO shit, so my wall smells good now :D i got stuff from jenny.. pics of the fartners.. when she came over.. i got dereks stargazing pic.. and his sun tOo.. ill list others later, quite excited ;D imma loser. hehe

GO READ the boy next door its a good book. andrea gave it to me and connie read it to. its SO weird. ands its funny at times. "i love you" - han solo return of the jedi "i know" -princess lea return of the jedi that was SO GAY i started laughing sO hard at volunteer yesterday. taolin thinks im HELLAH weird now. harhar. but i made him read it and he thought it was funny too.

but its a predictable book, but its good. i think i like tostay with predictable books/movies cuz.. they're safe "/ like i wathced its a guy thing last night. TOTALLY predictable by watching the trailers. but yea, it was an alright movie. and everyone knows how much i love a walk to remember :D and finding nemo will be predictable as well. and sweet home alabama! w00t. tho the ending to tuck everlasting was surprising.

haha IM HELLAH BABBLING. im waiting for my daddie to leave. adiOs guys :D HAVE FUN TO ALL YOU MITTY PPL WHO HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! hahahahahaha. i laugh in yur face. just kidding, i went last year and it was the best summer of my life. before of the whole school thing, i dunno. but it was fucking fun. really wasnt that bad, i had a funny class (alex and his drawings =P) and an AWESOME teacher. (mr miller yelling at jonathan for calling me woman!) harhar. yea and hellah ppl went last year :D it was fun. fun fun, bye!

Regina.2:36 PM

Thursday, June 12
warning: major bitching/complaing/babbling

wOAH! blogger got a new layout. woW, it shellah pretty! haha maybe after this i can freaking change my template! w00t. anywaym SCHOOLS OUT! shiiieetttsss.. w00tw00t. i cant believe it. sophomore year has ENDED. god damn, sophomore year sucked so much fucking dick. it was like freshman year times a billion. i mean year, freshman year we had hellah drama, but we had good times too. this year was nothing but work work work and if we werent working, we were fucking hating on each other. hellah gay. and its still not over. wat the fuck is up with our class, drama queens man. everyone else knows it but class of 05. naive or some shit.

haha and i was thinking today how fucked up that change is the only constant in this world. and how everyone i know have changed.. some in good and some in bad. i know for a FACT that ive changed - for the worse unfortuneately. but thats just how life goes. pretty fucked eh? yea, sometimes it gets really bad though. like i just want to breakdown and cry. but other times its just like fuck it. things are the way they are for a reason. but i think in the end, highschool can really kiss my ass. we were all innocent.. all good.. all happy before we entered this crap. and though highschool will help us in the years to come, to go out into the "real world" and highschool is usually known as the years of our lives, i really say fuck it.

and you know what else? IVE BEEN SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL lately its PISSING ME OFF! like.. monday i gave a lil presentation about my lit project right.. and i was talking about family and friends, and tears were coming to my eyes. it was like.. WTF! wasnt even anything big. and then at my sisters grad i was gonna cry cuz shes all growing up =( i think it had a lot to do with what i just sed up there.. that highschool hellah fucks you up, and shes MY BABY SISTER. shes too good for this shit. and then TODAY! and MV grad! i wanted to cry, and i was like.. WTF cuz im not even close to theseniors. it was just SAD. GAAAAAAAAAH. im not even PMSing so i dunno wat the hell is wrong with me. and then last night i went to sleep crying. but i can never cry for very long anymore. its SO FRUSTRATING.

sigh. for lit we had to do this cycle thing.. talk about our two years of highschool as "lowerclassmen" and my whole freshman side was ALL pics of friends. and i purposely put a pic of me and my girls from 8th grade to compare.. cuz as you look down the "road" the groups keep changing and keep getting smaller. and it was just sad. but then you look at my sophomore side and it was all work and family. because im starting to realize how important family is. because friends, as much as you want them to be, really arent forever. VERY VERY FEW ARE. very very few of yur friends are TRUE friends and i think only a true friendship would even have the chance to last. so the quote "guys come and go but friends are forever" really isnt accurate. should be more like "friends come and go but family is forever" because friends really come and go. people change. people move.

sad looking at my friends. because of how much theyve changed. its sad looking at myself in the mirror because of how much ive changed. i wish things could be so much more simple. i wish we could still be the lil girls we were in 8th grade. when we thought we had a shit load to deal with but really didnt. when we had so much fun together. wish we didnt that precious time we had together for granted. because everythings different now.

i wish everyone luck. gluck with dealing with yur friends changing. gluck with watching yur best friends become yur enemies. gluck with junior year. gluck with dealing with yur family. gluck with balancing yur life. gluck with anything and everything youre gonan do it. you fucking need it in this world.

Regina.8:58 PM

Tuesday, June 3
blahblahblah. haha on a different note today..

i went to talk to richard today.. sorta cleared things up a lil. last night i got just SO ANGRY and So SLKFSLKJF. i guess i was just.. hurt.. jealous.. but really i was more angry at myself. how could i have let this happen.. why did it happen.. why doesnt he want to be with ME.. why am i not good enough.. BLAH BLAH BLAH. i was in a hole and just kept digging deeper instead of climbing out. eventually i was so angry and watever that i stopped doing hw and went to sleep and woke up to another crappy day. but richard told me that i dont have to feel crappy. no one makes me. and i dunno.. i already KNEW that.. but the way he plays with words is pretty awesome. and then i realized, this is stupid. we are never gonna be together again. hes not even the same person anymore. and the person he is now, is NOT someone i wanna be with. so really, i dont even like him! i like someone who doesnt even fucking exist. and its like.. letting go of a dead person. ill still like him.. but i cant dwell on it. hes just gone.

and then i thought some more and i realized, this is not even my fault. yea i didnt tell him the truth when he assumed stuff.. but i was just trying to protect him. i just wanted things to be better for him. but its not like i sat here and did nothing. I TALKED TO HIM. and he shut me out. i try to say hi, i try IMing him and hes pushing me out of his life. I TRIED, he didnt. it is NOT my fault that things are the way things are.

haha AND THEN i realized. im too good for this shit. i dont want to sit here and be depressed for the rest of my life because this damn relationship didnt work out. i mean, he seems to be doing fine. hes moving on. and though whatever hes moving on to may not be as good as what we couldve had, it doesnt matter anymore. i REFUSE to mope around just waiting for something/someone who doesnt even fucking exist anymore. im so SICKandTIRED of just being hurt. im sick of the tears and im just tired in general. i want someone to find me, and not me searching for someone or waiting for someone.

so i guess this is a goodbye. goodbye to you and anything we had before. because obviously none of that matters to you anymore. i mean, yea it still hurts. it hurts that i cant be friends with you after all this time and all this crap. you were a really good friend and a really good person. but you really arent the same person anymore. maybe one day the true you will come back and things will work out. or maybe we could just start all over since i dont even know who you are anymore. but im not gonna sit around.. begging you at yur feet on my hands and knees. until then.. still yur baby always.

Regina.11:30 PM