Tuesday, April 30
oo mann... feeling good feeling good. HA. YEA RIGHT. buLL crraaappp. lets take wat i was feeling before.. add it to wat i was feeling yesterday and times that by TEN!! wEe. how wonderful. wth is rong wit me?! who the fxck am i trying to fool? i can say the same damn words to myself a thousand fricken times.. believe it until i get hurt.. then the whole damn process starts all over agin. well im juss soh SORRY im in yur way. im sorry im not good enough. and im sorry im different. sigh* it wasnt suppose to b this way ya noe? it juss wasnt. well it wasnt suppose to b the other way either.. even i didnt feel right.. but i juss cant do nethang. that sucks like a BXTCH man. this is juss so great.. so damn wonderful. thank you God for giving me sucha wonderful fxcked brain and a damned heart. but then i know its not His fault.. AT ALL.. it was all me anyway. funny how my emotions go from sadness.. to hellah angry.. bak to sad.. thats wat this whole blogger will b about.. if any emotions.. sad and angry.. sad and angry.. sad.. angry..

Regina.8:45 PM

sigh* things.. things just arent going well for me this week =( it sucks.. it actually hella sucks.. i dunno wats getting to me >_< and NO its NOT pms. haha.. duNnos dunnos. part of it is stress, i know that. school and sh*t.. but then its bigger than that now. i really shouldnt be blogging either.. its like 8.11 i juss got home, ate dinner, shower and i havent started hw.. i have a bio quiz i need to actually study for ((woW.. wata first.. cuz i dont know like any of it.. because imma retard and read the rong chapter last week..)) and intro test friday. im never satisfied with myself.. it hecckkkaaa bothers me. and then.. yea theres other stuff. suckerooz.. andrea updated her look. it looks hecckkaa cool. ill link up some of the stuff laters.. too lazy. i juss want to sleep.. good thing tomorrows wed.. sleep in =) i should really go do hw.. laters

Regina.8:07 PM

Monday, April 29
sigh* i have a headache. i juss got bak from the park wit my parents. which also translate to juss got back from more critizing. yeOps. funny how they always find SOMETHING to put me down about. one day its "yur sisters getting better at art than you" now its "yur sisters playing better badminton than yOu" "yur sisters gonna have a whole line of boyfriends at our dOor.." "yur sister has a perfect body.. shes so cute" "yur sisters smarter than you" bleh.. watever. i dun care if shes better than me.. but they put me down 24/7. and i dont noe if its suppose to motivate me to do better or juss quit all together. they were saying how ive wasted so much money wit badminton too. well SORRY. shiet. i juss want parents who are happy for you and proud of you.. i bring home a 4.o, "how come you didnt get higher?" shiet.. "i got an A on my bio test!" "why didnt you get a 1oo?" sigh* its like i never satisfy them.. and then the other night i was reading my national honor roll thingie to them.. and it actually felt good inside.. and like later my dad tells me it might b fake or juss some way to advertise.. and like it totally dropped my mood. its like.. gEe thanks dad for believing in me. watever.. then me and my dad played tennis.. Oo man he sucks. haha. no wonder i suck at sports and shit.. my whole familys unathletic like crazy. its pretty sad. since im not good at nethang else.. i dun have nethang else.. i dont play a intrument.. dont do sports.. im pretty much screwed.. haha. then i got new glasses today! er like im going to get them. thank goodness.. haha and.. wat else? EEEWWW SWIMMING FOR THE NEXT 6 WEEKS. aHHhHhh.. craziness. imma b all smelly and icky for the rest of the school year. how wonderful. freshman year went by so fast.. sigh* im out..

Regina.8:02 PM

Sunday, April 28
i've been thinking of a way to phrase it.. seem to never find the words to say it.. but it's true to say.. i've been occupied by other things.. how could i think that you wouldn't notice.. the absence of our closeness.. realizing now.. i will never let it happen again.. now i realize.. that you are my everything.. and without you here beside me.. it's like an angel without it's wings.. and now i realize.. that you are my everything..now i know it, should've shown it.. and now i realize that you are my everything.. as i sit here contemplating.. 'bout our love that's slowly fading.. so insensitive.. didn't hear you calling out for me.. if i could change the past i would do.. everything to show i appreciate you.. open up your heart.. let me help you fall in love again.. my friend, 'cause now i..now i realize that you are my everything


and thanks gou gou.. you really should listen to yurself!! thanks for caring.. and thanks for being there for me..

Regina.5:09 PM

i am so pissed off right now. i have no idea why.. but im about to fricken explode. uRrggg* im juss so damn ANGRY!! why does life have to suck so damn bad?? why does this world SUCK so much? why doesnt.. uuurrggggggg* i dont even know. this whole damn weekend has blown.. this whole damn week wit freaking star testing and all this sh*t. these damn ryr assignments are pissing the sh*t out of me too while that stupid b*tch is in freaking florida. dAamn. then of course theres always things going on with yur damn friends. i dont even know if i can call them friends if theres always a problem. its juss all so stupid. its like you give yur all for these ppl you love and care for and you dont get SH*T back. whats the damn point? and they're just gonna hurt you agin.. and agin and agin and agin until one day you juss leave. THEN WHAT? its aaalllllll pointless. everything is juss so damn pointless. LIFE is pointless. i dont know wat to do.. i juss want everything to stop SUCKING.. for EVERYONE. this worlds gone through so much pain already why doesnt it stop? im juss so mAd.. so damn mad. mad because im scared. scared because im going to lose someone i love.. and it just hurts so bad.. it juss hurts.. AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! which jus pisses me off even more.. i dont even know if i have a reason to b mad right now.. maybe im juss going wAay overboard.. and maybe im going crazy. over analyzing. maybe im juss imagining it all.. maybe ive been hurt so many times in my life that im seriously juss f*cked now. how sad. sigh* i dont know.. why cudnt ppl juss stop hurting each other.. why cudnt we all juss b good inside.. and all make the right decisions.. and live life happy.. i mean i understand without these complications in life.. without these challenges that life just wudnt b life.. there wud nothing to live for.. but whats to live for now? when things have gone this bad? when ppl die for no reason.. when ppl kill themselves because life sucks so much.. when ppl are in hospitals grasping for their lives.. whats the damn point?

Regina.4:03 PM

Saturday, April 27
i wrote agin last nite.. but that one didnt post either!! shEeeSshh.. haha. watever, it was nothing important. i got bored. my gooshness.. its not even 1o yet.. but it seems sooh late.. well to meeh it does anyway. i juss finished watched shaft agin.. that movies soh funnie. haha. nothing happened today.. thats good i gess. went to work.. then stanford for me and steph, shan and christines interview.. saw a really CUTE guy that we know volunteering!! =D oo mAn.. *giggles* hahaha.. juss kidding. they sed he waved.. if i saw that then it wudve made my day.. sigh* haha j/p j/p jAy pEe jay pEe. <> annnyyywwaayyysss.. i went to the fish market tonite. yum yum =) heehee. that was like 3 hours ago and im still really full. yea okae.. i think imma gO take a shower.. and then sleep? haha i dunnos. byebye!

Regina.9:48 PM

Thursday, April 25
i wrote TWICE yesterday.. really long ones and neither of them were saved. how stoOopidddd >_< okay so ONE MORE TIME.. haha welcome to my blogger! heehee. i got it from andrea.. so props to andrea! eR *jigga props* like how jon and brian wud say.. ((they're retards.. haha =D)) anyway.. i juss wanted a place to talk since my page isnt up yet! i dunno wen it'll b done.. i dun even noe if i still wanna put it up.. but yea.. maybe summer time? plus my TOD doesnt work.. i think my accounts got deleted.. both of them! soooh stupid. so screw them. this bloggers not giving me a very good first impression either.. since it didnt save two of my entries yesterday! anywwayyss.. one more day of star testing left! YES! and tomorrows math >_< for like 3 hours? thats so STOOPID. its only like.. 3o problems? soh freaking gay. today was.. pretty stoopid. im all bitter right now tho.. cuz i heard something i didnt wanna hear. haha, wateverrrrr. we sat in star testing ((me, bui, eric and jd)) and we got so bored.. we were done and had like 2 hours left over. then we played mash. haha. it was funny stuff. im still trying to fix this layout.. i dunno how.. its sooo confusing. heehee. i need like major html help too.. for my page and stuff. i have no time.. but then i have a lot of time. i dunno doesnt make sense. watever.. im gonna go.. byebye ((this better worrk!! haha))

Regina.6:49 PM

Wednesday, April 24
i wrote something really long.. and it didnt load.. how wonderful is that.. haha.. thats okay ill come bak and type it all over agin =)

Regina.7:34 PM